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Picks of the Week: 25th September 2000

Winter is drawing in, the nights are getting longer, and the weather is getting parkier. What better way to spend the long, cold evenings than slowly getting smashed in one of our great nation's licensed public houses? And who better to suggest some appropriate websites to visit in preparation for a night's fun, frolics, and finding yourself locked outside your house at three in the morning, than the assorted lushes here at Picks Central?
First you're going to need to find the perfect bar to prop up, and whether you're looking for a tiny old man's snug or a vast booming training pub, Pubs247 might well have what you're looking for. Pubs and bars are listed by location, name, and facilities. "But does it have a real fire?" I hear you ask, perhaps because you're wary of setting light to your new slacks after one spilt vodka too many. Well, this site can tell you.
Once you've selected the right venue, you might be a little worried that your pub etiquette isn't up to scratch. Never fear - Club Beer can set you right. Everything is here, from perfect beer songs (the Quo's Rockin' All Over The World is in the top spot, naturally) to instructions for building your own pub ("get rid of your telly and replace it with a twenty foot video screen. Show only reruns of "Minder", "Columbo", "The Streets Of San Francisco", "Cloppa Castle" and the FA Cup final from 1982."), plus a handy drunk star dating service.
All being well, you'll be thoroughly blotto by chucking out time, and your thoughts will turn to sustenance. Sadly, no food will be available, so you'll have to settle for that most British of Turkish snacks, the mighty Doner Kebab. Luckily, this site has it all, from locations and reviews ("these two 'bab stars shine brightly enough to glimmer even in Euston (over 600 yards away)") to discourse on the difference between the humble doner and its red squirrel - like usurper, the flashy shawarma.
If you're going to wake up at four in the morning, still dressed and inexplicably clutching your flatmate's shoes, then you're going to need a great site for drunken surfing. We're not afraid to dodge the bandwagon here at Picks Central, and it will come as no surprise to our regular readers to see that we're highlighting an amazing and totally original new internet phenomenon. It's called Big Banana, and features a bunch of ordinary fruit and vegetables, one of whom gets voted out of the bowl every week. The competition is over (Grape pipped Melony, Bananna, and co to the post), but the archive is still ripe - keep your eyes peeled for unicycling contestants, and Nasty Nectarine's rotten dealings.
The next morning, you might not be feeling so hot (it's your own fault ... it's not like we forced the drinks down your throat, is it?), and you'll relish the opportunity to tell fellow sufferers about your woes. Hairy Tongue also provides your with a handy glossary of excess ("How did you get home last night?" "Not sure - must have taken the Beerscooter"), and the opportunity to blame celebrities for your UDIs (Unidentified Drinking Injuries).

Sites Featured in Picks of the Week:

Pubs247 - Why the long face?
Club Beer - That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!
Doner Ride - The peanuts are complimentary but the cigarette machine is out of order.
Big Banana - Why the big paws?
Hairy Tongue - Ouch.

How many punchlines can you tell us the start of? Let us know.

Previous Weeks' Picks:

[ 18th September 00 | 11th September 00 | 4th September 00 | 28th August 00 ]